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Doctor Who: The End of Time, Part 1 - abates
Brilliant but slightly odd but very nice

Alden Bates
Date: 2009-12-27 16:23
Subject: Doctor Who: The End of Time, Part 1
Security: Public
OK, I'm at least a 3 on the inebriation scale. LET'S DO THIS THING!

See if you can connect my ramblings to actual on-screen events!

Opening narration! And there's the Cribbins, still being awesome! A choir and church? Are you sure you're not overdoing things, Rusty?

OK, according to the stained glass window, the TARDIS is approximately the size of a Smurf.

Why does the Doctor even think an Ood would know what a 20th century automobile would be, or what a car alarm would sound like? Also, it's one beep when you arm a car alarm, not two. SOMEONE'S JOKES DON'T MAKE SENSE.

Hey, look, the Master got a Return of the Jedi funeral pyre!

"Events that have happened are happening now." I think I remember that line from LEXX

Oh crap, Lucy Saxon's been seized by the John Simm Estrogen Brigade. Well, obviously they would clone the Master from a bit of lipstick. Pft, why not? Whups, he didn't foresee Lucy Saxon had a bottle of perfume, I see.

And the Cribbins has mobilised OAPs to look for the Doctor. Bless!

Where did the Master get blond hair dye anyway? ... did he just drop out of the sky? Oh come on, what's that effect supposed to be? Spontaneous Dalek zapping? Ah, so it appears he did just drop out of the sky.

Hrm.

And now, random shots of David Tennant and John Simm running around. And now, David Tennant being molested. And then the Doctor tries to work out why Wilf is important. "Some new man goes sauntering away" Yes, stop nudging the fourth wall.

Awww, Donna's got a new man!

OH SNAP THE NARRATOR IS JAMES BOND!

So, anyway, the Master can now shoot lightning from his hands, because he is now a Sith Lord. And he and the Doctor used to run across fields together on Gallifrey. "That's human Christmas out there!" As opposed to... Time Lord Christmas? Dalek Christmas?! That really doesn't need disambiguation.

And just when you least expect it, the Master is kidnapped by marines.

"Oooh, love from Donna. Did you keep the receipt?" Haha!

Oh, it's the possibly evil people with the portal thingee who've kidnapped the Master. And Cribbins is talking to a woman in the TV set. Lemme guess, Wilf is a Time Lord. Am I close? Ahh, he's got chekhov'sa gun.

"Are you shouting at thin air?" "Yes. Possibly. Yes." Hehehehe!

"I thought it'd be cleaner." "Cleaner?! I can take you back home, right now." Oh, he has to stay relative to the Master within the causal nexus. THAT EXPLAINS EVERYTHING!

Oh, and some of the people with the portal are asparagus people. Right, noted, carry on!

Also note: This is not acting, this is how John Simm actually eats.

Oh, the portal thingee is an immortality machine. Or as Rassilon would say an Immmmmmmmmmmortality gate. If it ends up turning people to stone, someone's going to want their money back.

"Oh my lord, she's a cactus!" A Zolpha Thuran? "Skeletor! Whatever you're calling him!" The Doctor's into He-Man?!

It mends whole planets... uh oh... and everyone in the world is John Simm. That's just disturbing.

And then: Time Lords!

So all together? Low on plot, high on spectacle - or in other words, a Russell T Davis finale (or part one of same, at any rate)

Predictions for next time: Even less plot and a deus ex machina ending. I'm going to guess that the Doctor will give his life to restore the human race by standing in the immmmmmmmmmmmortality gate and piping a bit of his regeneration power into it, thus the tenth Doctor will have literally died to forgive our sins.
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George Solana: Kenneth Williams
User: drake57
Date: 2009-12-27 03:34 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
Keyword:Kenneth Williams
So, we'll have to celebrate Tenmass now?
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Alden Bates
User: abates
Date: 2009-12-27 05:55 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
With trees topped with flashing police boxes, yes :)
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Auntie Krizu: Persiaverse Master
User: snowgrouse
Date: 2009-12-27 07:49 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
Keyword:Persiaverse Master
I kind of prefer something a friend of mine did, here. Happy Mastermas!
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Alden Bates
User: abates
Date: 2009-12-27 08:02 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
Hehehehe! Awesome! :)
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George Solana: Pertwee
User: drake57
Date: 2009-12-27 16:05 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
Keyword:Pertwee
Happy Mastermass, i like that :)
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Auntie Krizu: Ten/Master blue
User: snowgrouse
Date: 2009-12-27 07:48 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
Keyword:Ten/Master blue
I thought of Chekhov's gun, too! Bet it's going to be the one that ends up killing Ten. Who knows if the mysterious woman Wilf sees is someone hypnotising him into doing things he really, really shouldn't do.

And re: your predictions for the next time: you may be onto something there. It'll be Jesustastic in some way. Somehow.
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Alden Bates
User: abates
Date: 2009-12-27 07:57 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
It's almost inevitable.

I see said gun is being waved around in the trailer for next week as well. :)
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Auntie Krizu: Dalek sign
User: snowgrouse
Date: 2009-12-27 08:06 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
Keyword:Dalek sign
Yeah. It seems that it's definitely going to feature. Wilf and/or Donna are dead meat.
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User: scalderwood
Date: 2009-12-27 17:17 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
I am so getting wasted before part two. It's the only way I will make it through it.
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