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I'm so confused by this I don't even - abates
Brilliant but slightly odd but very nice

Alden Bates
Date: 2010-01-22 18:24
Subject: I'm so confused by this I don't even
Security: Public
know where to begin. This is totally apropos of nothing and no one in particular, but when did "I don't even" become a complete English sentence? Or even a complete thought? I keep seeing people using it in comments, but what does it even mean?!

Please help with my understanding using this handy poll:

"I don't even" means:

The user was distracted by some passing puppies and forgot to complete their sentence before hitting send. "I don't even- OMG, PUPPIES!"
0(0.0%)
The user passed out mid-sentence and faceplanted on the send button. User may require emergency medical assistance. Please call 911.
1(7.7%)
The user ran away to join the circus.
0(0.0%)
The user suddenly became Amish.
0(0.0%)
The user is under a post-hypnotic suggestion which causes them to believe they are a small tangerine whenever they type the phrase "I don't even".
1(7.7%)
The English language no longer requires complete sentences in order to
1(7.7%)
The user's cat jumped on the keyboard and hit send for them.
2(15.4%)
Other, specify in comments.
2(15.4%)
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George Solana
User: drake57
Date: 2010-01-22 05:36 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
This is
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Alryssa: Angelo
User: alryssa
Date: 2010-01-22 06:05 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
Keyword:Angelo
When something is so shocking/meaningless/senseless/retarded/random/etc, that you're left absolutely speechless.

Another meme you can thank 4chan for.
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I'm nobody! Who are you?
User: capriuni
Date: 2010-01-22 07:27 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
This. I was also going to suggest that the person is so overwhelmed by whatever they're talking about that their shock or befuddlement wipes their mind of even what sort of responses are possible to such a something, so they're left vaguely flailing their hands, where they would have finished the sentence.

Also, I have vague memories in my head of hearing this in conversation, or reading it in stories since before I was on the Internet. Though the Internet may have given a second (or third) incarnation in the culture.
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Alden Bates
User: abates
Date: 2010-01-22 09:04 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
They're like its children. I don't think this one will end up as a parade float! :)
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teh nos'
User: nostalgia_lj
Date: 2010-01-22 09:02 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
I don't even.
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entertaining in a disturbing way
User: lyssie
Date: 2010-01-22 13:12 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
I think it's shorthand for: "I don't even know how to respond to this, as what you have said/shown/done is so outside the bounds of intelligence,etc, etc."

I've seen it used as a foil against humor and also against horrible ignorance. So, there ya go.
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Kiri
User: kiri_l
Date: 2010-01-22 19:12 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
This (and rys's) explanations. I'll add that sometimes gestures of helpless frustration can be included.

Also it isn't a complete sentence, it is more like "I dont even _____ " with the ____ part left off. Imagine someone stopping midsentence.
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Alden Bates
User: abates
Date: 2010-01-22 19:57 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
See, that just gives me the maddening urge to go around finishing people's sentences. :)
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QuietDarkness: What?
User: quietdarkness
Date: 2010-01-22 14:05 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
Keyword:What?
I think it must be generational, probably from texting in shorthand too much.

I can't stand real text speak like "How R U?" I text in full sentences, thank you. Which dates me, but I don't care.

My oldest daughter, at the ripe old age of 27, claims texting is more a thing of my younger daughter's cohorts, who are in the 20-25 range. My youngest (who is 25) uses texts, my oldest doesn't.

Of course, I text, so this makes me the coolest mom evah amoung my youngest's handicapped friends. Probably the only crowd I could win a cool label with:)

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Alryssa: Hello Sekhmet by snowgrouse
User: alryssa
Date: 2010-01-22 15:52 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
Keyword:Hello Sekhmet by snowgrouse
See my above explanation. It started on messageboards, became image macros shortly after, and that, as they say, is that.

And I would demand to be shot if I ever texted someone 'how r u.' Gah.
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Alden Bates
User: abates
Date: 2010-01-22 19:55 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
I'm tragically unhip and insist on entering everything in longhand when I send phone texts. And use phrases like "tragically unhip". :)
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