Frank Hayes, Never Set the Cat on Fire
Never set the cat on fire, you only will annoy it.
The flames will make the beast perspire; it surely won't enjoy it.
Likewise do not ignite the dog, the snake, the gerbil, or the frog;
No, never set the cat on fire.
And mind your manners, as circumstances may require.
And never set the cat on fire.
Don't open up the cabin hatch; the air is sure to leave it.
And air is very hard to catch; you never will retrieve it.
And even though your life's a bore, don't open the reactor door;
Don't open up the cabin hatch.
Don't change the navigator's data, someone's sure to see ya.
You know the captain's view of that, a very bad idea.
He doesn't want his ship to race forever lost in endless space;
Don't change the navigator's data.
Don't start an interstellar war; it has no helpful uses.
When someone asks you 'what's it for?', you'll only make excuses.
If thirty trillion folks get hurt, you'll go to bed with No Dessert!
Don't start an interstellar war.
And on and on and on, all the way to work....