September 16th, 2010


Everyone is smarter than Gwen Cooper

I spotted the latest pack of Doctor Who Top Trumps at Whitcoulls today when I was buying some DVDs, so I bought it to see if it contained as much in the way of silliness as the Transformers Top Trumps packs do. I was not disappointed.

Selected characters in order of intelligence, according to Top Trumps:

  • The Eleventh Doctor (55)
  • River Song (52)
  • Winston Churchill (52)
  • Amy Pond (50)
  • Davros (50)
  • Rassilon (50)
  • The Master (47)
  • Luke Smith (45)
  • Jenny (30)
  • Gwen Cooper (26)
  • Jackson Lake (25)

Wow, seriously? There's like three cards with a lower intelligence than Gwen, and one of those is water (yes, the water from Waters of Mars, but still). And surely Jenny and the Master should have scores of 55, cause one's a clone of the Doctor, and the other's his equal. Are they saying that Winston Churchill is smart enough to invent time travel? Or River Song could turn the entire world into clones of Alex Kingston? (actually, come to think of it, that's just plausible. And possibly terrifying for the Doctor.)