"Last week on Doctor Who"
So the TARDIS console is now the Doctor's activity playcenter? Check underneath it. It's probably got "For ages 3-3000" written on the bottom. It's even got the little bell. Look, they've landed in a lobby somewhere. Nope, it's the first all-wooden space station. Er, so if the sun's about to go nova, isn't it horribly dangerous to be standing right there?
Yay! CGI! And Smurf person. "Slightly psychic" paper. Riiight. Ah, that's what they needed the short persons for. And asparagus people! And the wee blue thing! and more aliens! Wot, no classic Who monsters?
Hahahahaha! The gift of bodily salivas! Oh, stop staring, Rose, you're embarressing everyone.
Yeah, watch out for the robed growly voiced things giving out grenade shaped things.
Rose starts conversing with the help and realises she's just accepted a ride from a complete stranger. CGI Spider attack!!!
"I'm talking to a twig." Yes, that will happen. Good god, the Doctor just explained the TARDIS translation circuits. Must be the first time on-screen. :P Rose is pissed, oddly enough, that her brain's being dicked with. Awwww, they're having a tiff. Oh dear, she's letting him mod her cellphone.
"You think that's amazing you wanna see the bill." *is ded*
So the Doc goes off to make out with asparagus lady while Rose hangs with teh aliens. Which I suspect most of the season 1 budget was spent on. She banters with the "last human". heh, "bitchy trampoline".
The Doctor's gonna get some plant lovin'! Ooo, look, a Star Wars set.
And Rose is ambushed by the cult of Vader and dragged off. Companions. Feh!
Asparagus woman spears a CGI bug. Sabotage!
Britney bloody Spears.
Oi, Davies, NO!
Taking the piss? He's taking the whole septic tank.
And Rose is about to be fried! Weeeeeeeeee! And the Doctor enacts a nick-of-time rescue.
Oh, the cult of Vader were remote-controlled robots. and the trampoline's the villian. Fab. How does s/he/it figure the share prices will go up when the other aliens are dead, eh? Oh, they nicked this bit with the fans out of Galaxy Quest.
In. The. Nick. Of. Time.
And the Doctor teleports the trampoline back for a telling off. Erugh. Rose is slightly upset at missing Earth blowing up, so the Doctor takes her for some chips.