Alden Bates (abates) wrote,
Alden Bates
abates

ST:V, Barge of the Dead

Barge of the Dead: Torres dies and goes to hell.

Torres, in a damaged shuttle. OH NO! It's not the Delta Flyer! She's gonna die! But no, she crashlands in the shuttlebay. Paris appears to be the only one around to meet her. Later Janeway chews her out for disobeying orders, and calls her "Lana". When did Torres pick up the frizzy hairdo?? Chakotay finds debris lodged in the shuttle's nacelle with a Klingon symbol on it. After Torres puts it down, it starts producing blood, which disappears abruptly. Cool! non-staining!

Kim thinks Torres was hallucinating. The scans of the bit 'o metal don't turn up anything out of the ordinary. Eh? Neelix has been researching Klingon history. Oh, and he's holding a Klingon ceremony. Torres is unenthused.

Tuvok thinks her vision was a manifestation of her self-hatred. Tuvok has been smoking something, I think. He hands her a battleth, which she's also unimpressed by. He waves it at her and cuts her cheek. Understandibly she's a bit perturbed.

Later, at Neelix's Klingon do, HoloDoc is singing a Klingon drinking song. Seven joins in. OK, that's the worst-looking GAK! ever. Oh, it's replicated GAK!. Torres is annoyed by everyone going Klingon, and is bored by the whole thing.

During Janeway's speech, Klingons appear and slaughter everyone. Oddly enough, despite the use of bladed weapons, there is no blood. Torres finds herself on The Barge of the Dead. Dun dun duuuuuuuuuuuuuun. On their way to Grethor. Everything up to that point has been a dream. Bloody Klingon bollocks.

One of the Klingons says it's not B'Elanna's time. Good, she can sod off back to Voyager then. But no, she hangs around long enough for her mum to turn up, then HoloDoc revives her. HoloDoc says Torres was in a coma when they tractored her shuttle in. Torres tells Chakotay about her experience, and he believes it was a dream.

Torres reads up on Klingon mythology and establishes that she condemned her mother by turning away from the Klingon ways. She decides to go Flatliners and seeks Janeway's permission. Denied! But then Torres gives an impassioned speech and Janeway says yes. HoloDoc simulates the conditions in the ion storm and she sorta dies again.

Torres wakes up on the Barge of the Dead again, this time wearing Klingon armour. Which makes little sense, but it looks good on her. She talks to her mum. "If you had listened to me when you were younger, we wouldn't be on the barge of the dead!" Typical! Torres wants to perform a transferance ritual, but her mum sees it as cheating.

Ancient mythical Klingon has a really funky forehead. Looks like someone's been bouncing ball bearings off it. Mythical Klingon sends Torres' mum of to Stovakor when Torres agrees to take her place in Grethor. Meanwhile, HoloDoc fights to being her back. Too late! Torres is in Grethor. Which apparently consists of HoloDoc and Neelix. Hell indeed. She sees other Voyager crew members, and her mum again. All of whom witter on about choices and so on. Except Tuvok who just keeps trying to attack her. Then she chucks the battleth into the endless sea of blood and everyone is happy.

Then she wakes up again and hugs Janeway. Teh End.

That was... sorta pointless and Klingony.
Tags: star trek: voyager
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