Yes, I'd like to phone a friend.
In the Alpha quadrant, Barclay shuttles up to a starbase where he meets with Doc Zimmerman. Zimmerman is cranky, and dying of an illness the doctors haven't been able to diagnose. Time to send in Greg House. Hmmm, House vs HoloDoc. The snark would be glorious.
Pathfinder transmits to Voyager a data stream which turns up badly degraded. Apparently they're using a pulsar which goes off once a month. Neelix distributes mail, including one to the HoloDoc from Barclay saying Zimmerman is ill. HoloDoc thinks he can use Borg tech to halt the cell degradation, and wants Janeway to transmit him to the Alpha Quadrant. She reluctantly agrees.
Hmm, is the sickbay ocean grey or military grey? HoloDoc is mildly annoyed because Seven's extracting the enhancements from his program so he'll fit in the datastream.
What? Zimmerman's assistant has a pet fly? Barclay turns up with a holo-emitter. Zimmerman is less than impressed at the HoloDoc, and tells him that the mark 1 EMH programs have been reassigned to drudge jobs. The examination does not go well.
Oh, the fly is a holographic fly named Roy. HoloDoc attempts to get on with Zimmerman, but experiences extreme resistance. Barclay rings Troi and asks for councelling help. Shouldn't she... I dunno, have her own command by now?
Back on Voyager, Janeway is concerned that a message from an Admiral is specifically asking about the Maquis.
Zimmerman and HoloDoc fight some more. Then Troi turns up for some EXTREEEEEEEEME COUNCELLING! Hmm, interesting how they've saved themselves some money by reusing part of the holodeck wall as the wall of Zimmerman's lab. Mind you, makes sense, seeing as he works in the field of holography. Anyway, the session ends when Troi calls them both jerks and storms out.
Troi notes that Zimmerman's assistant is a hologram too. Barclay says he's up to EMH mark 4, but none of the later models looked like Zimmerman. Troi starts seeing the problem.
Troi drops in on the HoloDoc, who's hanging around in Barclay's Voyager sim, to invite him to dinner. Then HoloDoc starts disappearing, and Barclay says his primary matrix is degrading - he's going to die. Zimmerman says HoloDoc's just a program, he'll send Voyager a Mark 4, but his assistant talks him into fixing the HoloDoc.
Zimmerman stabilises the HoloDoc and informs him he's developed new subroutines to improve his personality. When HoloDoc complains, Zimmerman says the mark 1 EMH programs were regarded as a joke and kicked out of the medical corps. HoloDoc talks him into trying the borg medical procedure...
Some 32 hours later, HoloDoc emerges and says Zimmerman found that HoloDoc had been sabotaged. Troi says traditional methods weren't working. Heh. HoloDoc and Zimmerman are now friends, sort of. Grudgingly. Barclay manages to take a picture of them together before the end credits rudly interrupt them. Teh end.