Andorians versus Vulcan monks! Sadly not Shaolin Vulcan monks, but never mind.
How come Conner Trineer gets the last credit? He's only the chief engineer. Sheesh. Yay, Jeff Combs again!
Archer and Trip want to stop off at the Vulcan monastery. T'Pol bonds with Phlox over being aliens on a human crew. She sets down the ground-rules for the visit, which are lengthy and strict. Hey, I think I've played that Unreal Tournament level... oh, wait, it's the monastery.
My god, I don't think I've seen Archer and Trip stay silent for so long. The monks turn them away, but T'Pol notices that some of the ornaments are a bit off, and the monk is a bit agitated. Archer sets about agitating him further, and he quickly presents Archer with the stone of G'Kar (what, the guy from Babylon 5?), but then Archer and Trip jump an Andorian, and are captured.
Jeff Combs interrogates Archer for a while and hits him. Then one of the Andorians makes with the crude sexual inuenndo at T'Pol. "I'll enjoy having you.......as a prisoner" Wooo, subtle.
The Vulcans explain that the Andorians are from a neighbouring system and there have been conflicts between the two races for many years. The Andorians believe the monastery conceals a long-range sensor array. Oh, I *have* played this UT level. Look under the floor, dude.
The Enterprise has detected the Andorian ship, but haven't heard from the away team, so are a bit worried.
Jeff Combs hits Archer some more. He explains about Vulcan high command and so on, but this just makes them hit him some more. Reed rings Archer, and gets Jeff instead, then the Andorians break all the communicators.
Later, Archer tells the Vulcans that the Andorians are going to start killing the monks if no one's more forthcoming, but that Reed's likely to mount a rescue effort. The Vulcans say there are catacombs beneath the monastery in which there is an old transmitter they might use. Trip! Dude! Watch that torch! You almost set fire to the set!
Trip and a Vulcan wander around in the catacombs. And there are corpses and stuff. And, surprise, a transmitter. He sets about fixing it, while Archer and T'Pol discuss tactics. Archer offers to snuggle with her under the only blanket, but she's reluctant because of the smell. Heh... This discussion is pointless! Trip hasn't even fixed the transmitter yet!
Finally it works, and they contact Enterprise. Trip tells them to hang tight 'til they have a plan. Archer goes and gets some more abuse from the Andorians. Yeah, great plan so far. He chucks something in the statue thingee in the atrium, which is apparently linked to the catacombs. Trip retrieves it... oh, it's the wee statuette? WTF?
Reed and some crewmen beam down and end up as a mutated three-headed beastie at the other end (just kidding) and are promptly hidden in the catacombs.
One of the Andorians tries coming on to T'Pol some more. There's a battle, two of the Andorians are stunned, but Jeff and the other one escape into a catacombs. Archer, T'Pol and a Vulcan set off in pursuit. After a fire-fight, they locate a door... to a secret long-range sensor outpost. Whups. How embarrassing. *coughbluescreencough*
After knocking out the Vulcan, they take pictures and give them to the Andorians, who are surprised, but grateful. Teh end.