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ST:E, Dessert Crossing - abates
Brilliant but slightly odd but very nice

Alden Bates
Date: 2005-11-26 18:29
Subject: ST:E, Dessert Crossing
Security: Public
Tags:enterprise
Dessert Crossing: That's very odd, crossing ice cream.

Enterprise is back on course for Risa. This is totally the "we're going to Metebelis III!" arc from Pertwee's second-to-last season...

I've got stench, in mah faaaart

Erm, anyway! OMG! It's totally Clancy Brown, who does the voice of Lex Luthor in the JL toon. He invited them to take part in some sorta game, before they see him on his way. Archer talks Trip into accompanying him. I have a feeling Trip's going to regret this...

They fly down to a desert planet. Archer: "It's a dry heat." Yeeeeah... They share a meal with Clancy. Mmmm, cactus.

Then they have their wee game, which involves them taking their shirts off. Ummm, looks like they're risking a bad sunburn there.

Enterprise is hailed from a city on the other side of the desert, who wants to know what's going on. They're informed that they may not see Archer or Trip again.

On the planet, they finish their game, and Archer gets a call from T'Pol, who informs him of that Clancy and his mates are terrorists. Archer attempts to leave, but Clancy's people have picked up the transmission too, and he asks the pair to hear him out. Blah, blah, blah, caste systems, unfair treatment, etc, blah blah.

Clancy asks for tactical assistance, while the authorities start attacking. He suggests their shuttle would be a conspicuous target and probably shot down. Archer tries to contact Enterprise, but there are jamming signals all over. He and Trip discuss what to do next, and decide the first thing to to get out of the bunker, which is poorly constructed and collapsing under the bombardment. They grab some stuff from the shuttle and head out into the desert.

T'Pol tries unsuccessfully to persuade the authorities to let them retrieve Archer and Trip, and a sensor jamming field is activated stopping them from scanning the surface.

Archer and Trip amble across the desert. *plays Lawrence of Arabia music* They hide under the sand as soemthing goes overhead. Hrm, this is very Star Wars.

Meanwhile, back on Enterprise, padding padding padding.

Archer and Trip amble across the desert some more and look sunburnt. Trip faceplants, suffering from heat exhaustion, and Archer gives him more water.

Clancy flies up to Enterprise and they explain to him that Archer isn't really a fantastic warrior at all. He is slightly disappointed.

Archer and Trip reach shelter at last, such as it is. Man, that sunburn's gonna itch. They boil some water and Archer tells him not to go to sleep, cause he's got heat stroke. They attempt to keep him awake by getting him to talk about the warp reactor. Well, then it turns into Trip's favourite food.

Reed takes a shuttle down with Clancy's help, and they search for the missing crewmembers.

They're down to geography games. Land sakes. Then there's explosions, as the place comes under bombardment. WTF? It's abandoned! The pair make it out in time to avoid getting fragged.

The shuttle nips in and destroys the gun emplacement, then picks up Archer and Trip.

They farewell Clancy, and then Archer says the irony of not getting involved is he thinks Clancy has a cause worth fighting for. Teh end.

I think that's the last Enterprise episode I've already seen.
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Ian Mc
User: ianmcin
Date: 2005-11-26 06:24 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
That's very odd, crossing ice cream.

Thank you, Alden. I now have an image of a villain made entirely of ice cream - Bobcat Goldthwait's character from the animated Tick series, maybe - getting in the hero's face and saying "Do not cross me" with great menace.
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Alden Bates
User: abates
Date: 2005-11-26 06:45 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
^_^
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User: (Anonymous)
Date: 2005-11-26 07:59 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
Desert Crossing would be the worst episode of the
first season, if it wasn't for the fact that Two
Days And Two Nights makes DC look like Yesterday's
Enterprise.
Clancy Brown is best known for playing the
Kurgan in the only Highlander movie that's any
good (the first one), and he also had a regular
role in the awful and thankfully shortlived
SF show Earth II.
Note Clancy's way cool Maori moko in this
ep...I think someone in the writing team is
fond of NZ, given the refs to Godzone in
Enterprise, the scene in Voyager's pilot,
and of course the honking great NZ-shaped
lava flow on that planet in the Mk II TNG
credits sequence.
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