Finally, Enterprise has made it to Risa. Archer's not sure about going down while half the crew stays up on the ship, but T'Pol tells him to get his arse down there. Trip has a Hawaiian shirt on again!
Considering they drew lots, it seems like an awful lot of the principal cast is going down there. Did Porthos have to draw lots too?
Back on Enterprise, T'Pol and Cutler aid Phlox in putting himself into hybernation.
Archer and Porthos (Risa evidently has lax animal import laws) check out their villa, and find T'Pol has left a Vulcan textbook for them to read. Also there's a woman with a small yappy dog staying in a nearby place. Trip and Reed go cruising for sex.
The dog lady, Kayla, follows her dog over to Archer's villa, and they engage in amiable banter. And then he asks her out on a dinner date. Tsk. Hoshi is learning Risan. The locals are impressed by how fast she's picked up the language. She's approached by another fellow who offers to teach her his language and invited her to dinner. Wooo, smoooooth.
Reed and Trip are having no luck finding sex. With thie luck, they'll both end up mpregged. They're approached by a pair of women who are probably going to steal their clothes (such as they are).
If I hear "Earth? Never heard of it!" again, I'm going to scream. Or possibly take up a drinking game.
Archer and Kayla stargaze, and he shows her his home star (no, that's not a euphamism). Reed and Trip are lead to the "bioluminescent gardens" by the two women, who turn out to be a couple of metamorphing greebly male aliens who rob them of their communicators and then shoot them. Gosh, who could have known.
Meanwhile, Mayweather has had a rockclimbing accident and comes back up to Enterprise for treatment. They take him to sick bay, but Phlox is, of course, still hybernating. Trip and Reed wake up in their underwear and argue. Mayweather's having a reaction to the medication the Risan hospital gave him.
Hoshi is having trouble picking up her pet alien's language, butt hey go to some hot pools for a shag instead. Archer and Kayla have breakfast together, and she tells him her family was killed by Suliban.
Cutler and T'Pol try to bring Phlox out of hybernation, but he seems somewhat annoyed and confused. After attempting to treat Mayweather for a while, they decide waking him may not have been a good idea.
Archer and Kayla have alcohol. Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo, mpregging will ensue! She talks about the Suliban some more, and wants Archer to tell her more about them. He suggests they take a walk on the beach, and transmits a bioscan of Kayla to Enterprise. When she returns with warmer clothing, he tells her he knows she's an Tandaran (from Detained). She pokes him with her fingernail and he falls over. So, I guess he's having as much luck as Reed and Trip then.
Speaking of whom, they managed to get free and are now wandering around in their underwear. Class. Hoshi appears to be the only one who got her end away.
Phlox injects Mayweather with something, which does the trick, and then goes to sleep on one of the beds. Meanwhile Archer recovers to find Kayla has gone. Bummer!
Everyone returns to the ship, somewhat the wiser. Teh end.