A Night in Sickbay: While attempting to apologise to some aliens, Porthos urinates on a tree and becomes ill.
Archer's a bit miffed. They had to go apologise to the aliens from a few eps back. Phlox says Porthos has some sort of pathogen though, and they have to leave him in decontamination.
Trip complains that a plasma injector is gonna fail, and they really need five in order to operate properly. Trip suggests he pull the stick out of his arse.
Porthos is now in a glass box and is having immune problems. Phloxis confident he'll come up with something. Archer appears to get steadily more pissed off. Dude, seriously. Chill already.
T'Pol says the aliens are annoyed cause Porthos pissed on their sacred trees. Archer storms about and threatens to piss on their trees himself (What?!) then goes back to his quarters to sulk for a while, before heading to sick bay with a pillow and blanket.
Archer untactfully inquires whether Phlox is qualified to treat the dog. Just give Archer a sedative. Jeeze. Phlox starts with his bodily grooming. Uh, seriously. Did not need to see that. Or that. And definately not that.
Later Archer is woken by Phlox feeding the animals, and goes to do some exercising in teh gym. Which apparently is turning into a pissing contest with T'Pol re treadmill speeds. I think Archer's going to lose. Nope, T'Pol stopped first.
The aliens send up their requests for apology, much to Archer's bemusement. He goes back to sickbay and goes back to sleep, unless there's an alarm - Phlox's treatment isn't working. They give Porthos some more medication. Archer bitches at length. Phlox suggests he may be sexually frustrated. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! He storms out.
The aliens want to know why Archer hasn't responded yet. This is because he and Phlox are trying to recover an escaped bat. Oh, that was unfortunate. Is still supposed to be a comedy?
Phlox brings up the whole sexual frustration problem. I think Archer's going to hit him. Hoshi retrieves the bat, and informs him of the alien's message, which doesn't improve his mood any.
Archer dreams about Porthos' funeral and then has a porn dream with T'Pol in it. Dirty, dirty fellow. Tsk. Back in the land of the not-dreaming-about-sex, Phlox says the new treatment isn't working. T'Pol turns up with food, causing Archer to make an embarressing Freudian slip. And another one. T'Pol looks puzzled and leaves, while Phlox looks smug.
Porthos is responding to treatment finally, but his pituatary gland is disintegrating, so Phlox is going to transplant one from a lizard he happens to have lying about. While replacing bits of Porthos' brain, they discuss Archer's sexual tension, and Archer asks about Phlox's family.
Archer sheepishly apologises for his earlier behavior, and later does the insanely long apology ritual to the aliens, which makes them happy, and even later apologises to T'Pol. Back in sickbay, Porthos is doing somewhat better, and Phlox frees him to return to duty. Teh end.