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ST:E, Precious Cargo - abates
Brilliant but slightly odd but very nice

Alden Bates
Date: 2005-12-09 19:20
Subject: ST:E, Precious Cargo
Security: Public
Tags:enterprise
Precious Cargo: Enterprise aids an alien ship carrying a woman in a statis pod, only to find out all is not what it seems.

OMG, harmonica! KILL IT! Trip reacts with surprise as his harmonica playing forces the ship to drop out of warp. Oh, there's some alien ship they've gotta repair.

When Trip looks out the window, his face has a visible blue reflection from the bluescreen. Ahahahahahahaha!

The aliens have a woman in a statis pod which is breaking down, and they don't have enough food for three. They also want to have a bath (presumibly not together). Trip is surprised to see that the woman in status isn't the same species as the aliens. Archer offers to take the aliens to the end of their journey a bit faster, but is turned down.

Hoshi helps Trip translate some stuff, and she thinks he fancies the woman in status. Then the woman wakes up, and Trip gets her out... then one of the aliens hits him. Archer can't reach Trip, and alerts Reed...

There's a firefight, and one of the aliens jumps back into the ship and breaks free of Enterprise. Noooo! They's getting away! Oh, wait, their ship can only go warp 2. HAHAHAHAHA! Enterprise pursues and knocks the other ship out of warp. But then the ship emits some cloud which clogs Enterprise's plasma vents and sods off.

Trip wakes up to find the woman hitting him some more. The alien demands Trip repair the status pod again. After the alien leaves, Trip unties the woman and locates his universal translator. She explains she's Kaitaama, a diplomat who was kidnapped by the two aliens for ransom. Trip wants to escape in an excape pod, but she wants to wait and get the ransom paied.

Meanwhile, Archer interrogates the other alien, who doesn't seem to know much. They decide to put him in an airlock.

Trip works on escape, while Kaitaama complains. Dude, just set a trap, overpower the alien, and stick him in the statis pod. The pair crawl through air ducts (WTF is it with Enterprise and air ducts?) to one of the escape pods, which are all built for one. Cosy.

ESCAPE! They head for the nearest star system. Trip attempts to check out how to fly the pod while Kaitaama complains. Trip comments she was better in the statis pod. Tact, old chap, tact.

Archer talks to the other alien some more.... ahhhh, they're playing good cop/bad cop with T'Pol as the bad cop. How the hell is Archer keeping a straight face? T'Pol says HE WILL DIE! and Archer promises to ask for leniency in return for the warp frequency of his ship.

Trip and Kaitaama get out the supplies situation. Water and beef jerky. Class. She says she doesn't go on dates. They reach the only habitable planet, and Trip engages the descent. DEPLOY THE PARACHUTES! Wait, what parachutes? Ah, they have breaking thrusters. And SPLATDOWN! Hey, they've landed on Dagobah.

They wander around in the swamp for a while looking for Yoda, and then Kaitaama notices Trip's got a flesh wound and insists on treating it. Then later she starts getting uppity, adn they argue and fall in the swamp, argue some more, then snog. OMG, Trip is so Han Solo. Then they dun sex and Trip gets mpregged again.

The pod starts sending a homing signal, which Trip smashes... but too late, cause the alien turns up looking for them. Fortunately they're ready, and Trip jumps him. Unfortunate the alien is stronger and starts drowning him, til Kaitaama comes to the aid.

And so, Archer and co find Trip in his underwear searching an a swamp with Kaitaama. Enterprise rendezvous with a warship, drops off the two aliens, and Trip says goodbye to Kaitaama. Teh end.
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