Alden Bates (abates) wrote,
Alden Bates
abates

ST:E, North Star

North Star: Enterprise finds Wild West Planet.

It's the Wild West, and they's fixin' for a hangin'. Evidently someone was impressed with Firefly...

Then ol' Captain Archer, T'Pol and Trip amble on into town and determine the imhabitants are, indeed, humans. Who apparently travelled to the expanse and took up wild west livin'. Archer and co decide to investigate further.

T'Pol and Trip go horse shopping. Trip trades a harmonica and his gun for the horse before T'Pol asks if he actually knows how to ride one. Trip says he's seen lots of westerns. Greeeeat.

Meanwhile Archer walks into the local bar to see if he can start a bar fight. Oh god, Archer's putting on an accent. Some no good varmits amble in and demand booze. Oh, one of them's the deputy. Archer intervines in his conflict with the skag serving drinks. (Is skag a derogatory term or the actual name of the alien race?)

This needs Lynda Baron singing a ballad. Dammit.

Trip and T'Pol locate a crashed ship. Yayz!

Oh, it's Skagorian. Archer talks to the local teacher who tells him off for intervening at the bar. She takes him to meet more Skagorians, who have a settlement in the caashed spaceship, and they're reunited with Trip and T'Pol. The teacher is teaching the Skagorians at night, because teaching them is illegal.

Archer hears that the Skagorians brought humans to their planet as slaves, and the humans took over. Unfortunately then the deputy turns up and arrests both the teacher and Archer. The teacher says Cooper Smith was the butcher who killed most of the Skagorians and took over.

This doesn't make any sense. The Skagorians were apparently one shipfull of people who wanted to build a settlement on this planet. So they leave the Expanse, travel all the way to Earth, of all places, grab a bunch of folk, travel all the way back to the expanse and and promptly slaughtered by their would-be slaves. WTF? Plus you would think by now one of the Enterprise crew would have twigged and gone "ohhh, this explains the mysterious disappearance of five hundred people back in 1893!" or whenever... Anyway, on with teh episode.

Archer's taken to the sherrif who offers him a whiskey and asks why Archer was out in Skag Town. Then Hoshi is accidentally given a scene. Well, a shot. Archer goes and punches out the deputy before helping the teacher escape. She's shot, and Archer does an emergency transport in the middle of town.

Phlox treats the patient, and tells Archer she's one-third Skagarian.

The Deputy thinks Archer is working with the Skagorians, and suggests going and slaughtering the inhabitants of Skag Town. The Sheriff is not convinced and tells him to lay off the Skagorians. The Deputy turns in his badge. He don't need no stinking badges.

Archer says after they're finished with the Xindi, they'll come back and sort something out. They take a shuttlepod down and have a wee talk with the sheriff. Then there's a gun fight, because all westerns have to have a gun fight. The ex-deputy chases a wounded Archer into the stable, where they have a fist fight. Oh, that was amusing, Reed. I'm sure T'Pol will find it amusing when she regains consciousness too...

Back on Enterprise, Archer shows the teacher the planet from orbit. After the ship leaves, the teacher is allowed to teach Skagorian and human children alike, etc, etc, teh end.
Tags: enterprise
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