Oh god, it's the Ferengi!
Picard complains about having a headache, which Crusher says she doesn't get much of. What? They don't have stress in the future? The Ferengi commander is Daimon Bok (from The Daemons, wank wank). Bok has a matter to discuss, but Troi says she senses deception.
"In one Earth hour then." Oh, how cheesy.
Crusher gives Picard an examination (worrrrr) but can't find a cause for his headache and gives him some aspirin. Then a constellation-class starship turns up, and Picard tells Wesley off for not following proper procedure. Some of the Ferengi beam over and commence being irritating by pointing out the clothed females and asking to purchase Data. They announce they're going to present the incoming starship as a gift.
It appears that this is a result of a battle some 9 years ago during which Picard destroyed a Ferengi ship which attacked his ship. The incoming ship is the Stargazer, which is the one he used in the battle - the Ferengi found it derilict. The other Ferengi are shocked that Bok is giving it away at no profit.
Picard relates the story of the attack, and how he invented the Picard manouvre. The away team get the Stargazer working and confirm it's safe, so he and Crusher beam across and look around. A glowy ball thing in his cabin gives him a headache.
Back on the Enterprise, they prepare to take the Stargazer into tow, and Picard puts Riker in charge before going for a lie down. Meanwhile, Data finds a personal log indicating that the incident 9 years ago was not as it was recorded in the history books, and Picard destroyed a Ferengi ship which was under a flag of truce.
Picard denies all knowledge, and Riker already has Data analysing it. "Starship Ferengi"?! Doesn't it have a name?? Riker talks to the Ferengi second in command but doesn't get a reasonable response, because the Ferengi is too busy being annoying.
Crusher tries to help Picard while Bok increases the power on his headache ray. You'd think the Enterprise's sensors would be able to detect the headache ray. He angsts a while, then she makes him lie down and puts pieces of metal on his head. Bok gives him bad dreams and he starts having flashbacks.
Data finds that the log is a fake. Surprise, surprise. Did Crusher just call Riker "Number One"?! Yes, she did. I thought that was Picard's pet name for him. Picard orders the tractor beam cut off so the Stargazer can drift along with them and not waste power. What about course corrections, huh?
Wesley lets Crusher know he's detected the headache beam, and they take the news to Riker, in time to detect Picard beaming off the ship. Hey, that's not Majel doing the computer voice, is it? It doesn't sound like her...
Picard has beamed onto the Stargazer, where Bok taunts him a bit, then activates the mind-control ray. Bok's son was the commander of the ship which Picard destroyed 9 eyars ago and he wants REVENGE!
So, the Stargazer moves off. Riker talks to the Ferengi second-in-command and questions him about the mind-control sphere. Then the Stargazer gets ready to attack because Picard is in full flashback mode. Riker and co work on a defence to the Picard manouvre, while the Ferengi relieve Bok of his command for engaging in unprofitable ventures.
Data formulates a defence, and they grab the Stargazer in a tractor beam, til Riker is able to talk Picard around and get him to destroy the mind-control sphere. Picard beams back to the Enterprise. Teh End.