Haven: Troi's impending arranged wedding is interrupted by the arrival of a plague ship.
The Enterprise is nipping over to Haven for some R&R. Meanwhile Riker's watching a holovid of two women playing harps(?!) Then Yar calls him to the transporter room, where they beam up a box with a talking face on it which announces that Deanna Troi's momentous occasion is at hand - IMMINENT WEDDING! RED ALERT! WHOOP WHOOP! And so on.
Yes, Betazeds have arranged marriages. Riker is very depressed, but Troi asks if he'll come to the wedding anyway. The groom and his parents beam up. The groom, Wyatt, has romance book hair. Troi warns Picard that her mother is batshit mad (although she pronounces it "a little eccentric", actually) and played by Majel Barret before said mother beams up with her extremely tall manservant. Picard promptly gives himself a hernia carrying Lwaxana's luggage, and she attempts to talk his ears off. He escapes as soon as possible, leaving Lwaxana and Deanna to natter telepathically.
The leader of Haven contacts the Enterprise, saying that an incoming ship has bypassed their stargate(!) and hasn't responded to hails, so they need help because it may be hostile.
Troi talks to Wyatt, who turns out to be a doctor, who doesn't seem that keen on the marriage as well. He also shows her his etchings. Of a woman who he's had visions of all his life - he'd assumed it was Troi.
Picard makes a captain's log expressing disapproval at the whole arranged marriage thing. The hostile ship turns up and looks very TOS. It's a Tarellian ship, which alarms everyone greatly for some reason. Data goes into exposition mode and reports how on their planet, a biological weapon infected everyone, so that is a plague ship, of sorts.
There's some sort of party, at which Lwaxana and the Millar family start arguing over the wedding arrangements until Picard tells them all to STFU. Wyatt and Crusher discuss possible treatment for the Tarellians. Then Lwaxana's servant starts hitting a gong repeatedly, then Data asks her about the wedding ceremony. She reveals everyone goes naked during the ceremony, more bickering ensures, Deanna storms out, and then Data requests more more petty bickering as he finds it intriguing.
Troi finds Riker on the holodeck, sitting in a quarry simulation, and talks to him about separating platonic and physical love. Hmm, suddenly Wyatt is reminding me a lot of Simon from Firefly. He says the parents have reached a compromise re nudity and so on. Then they snog a bit.
Haven rings up again to ask that the Tarellian ship be destroyed before they can infect the planet. The Enterprise tractors the other ship, which finally responds. Troi immediately recognises one of the Tarellians as the woman from Wyatt's etchings. Ariana has huge 80s hair.
Wyatt goes to talk to Lwaxana for guidance, and she takes time out from making constant references to being naked to give him some advice. Wyatt goes and says goodbye to his parents and Deanna, then goes to the transporter room and beams over to the Tarellian ship, where he finds sketches of himself. The Tarellians announce they will not be going to Haven, as Wyatt is going to set about curing them.
The Tarellians depart, as do the Millers and Lwaxana, though not before she offers to marry Picard and/or Riker. Picard is "not amused". Teh end.