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TNG: The Outrageous Okona - abates
Brilliant but slightly odd but very nice

Alden Bates
Date: 2006-12-10 12:59
Subject: TNG: The Outrageous Okona
Security: Public
Tags:next generation
The Outrageous Okona: The Trek equivalent of Han Solo turns up.

The Enterprise comes upon a small one-man craft in distress -the pilot turns out to be a beardy Han Solo. Okona is pronounced in the same way as "O'Conner". The Enterprise takes his ship in tow so they can help him fix his drive system.

Okona beams aboard and immediately starts trying to sex up teh women. Mind you, they *do* have Teri Hatcher as the on-duty transporter officer. Man, that's some decent hair she's got there. Okona tells Data a joke, which leads to more "humour" as Data simulates laughter, this leads him to inquire about how much of human life Data has experienced, and establishes Data is really crap at working out jokes. Then he goes and sexes up Teri Hatcher. Giggidy!

Riker checks on Geordi and Wesley, who are fixing Okona's engine, and they talk about Okona a bit. Meanwhile, Data consults Guinan on why he sucks so much at humour, and she tells a really terrible 'droid, annoyed joke, this leads to Data to go onto the holodeck to consult a 20th century comedian. Oh god, Jerry Lewis impression. "So if you put funny teeth in your mouth and jump around like an idiot, that is funny?" Well, let me see, NO!

So Data returns to Ten Forward and tries telling a joke appallingly. Fortunately Picard calls him away before he can tell another one.

Another ship turns up and points lasers at the Enterprise. Lasers against the Enterprise would apparently do about as much damage as if they threw rocks, so Picard makes ready to surrender(?!)

The ship hails them, it's captained by Debin, who tells them they should sod off, and they're towing the spacecraft of a known criminal - he demands they turn over Okona. Another ship turns up, this time from a different planet from the first - captained by Kushell who demands Okona be turned over to them.

Worf can't locate Okona over the comm, so he goes looking, and finds Okona snogging yet another woman. Worf then appears to begin initiating a mating ritual with him(!!) but ends up dragging him back to the bridge instead. Okona refuses to say anything about any crimes he might or might not have committed. Picard contacts Debin again, and Debin admits that the problem is Okona sexed up his daughter and left her pregnant. So they set up in conference mode, and Kushell reveals that Okona stole the crown jewels of their planet.

Picard takes Okona to his office for a wee lecture. Okona insists he didn't steal the jewel, though he's not sure about the sexing. He suggests they finish fixing Okona's ship and let him go, absolving the Enterprise of responsibility. After chatting to Wesley, Okona announces he's going to surrender, so Picard arranges to have the two other parties beamed on board. Okona says he'll take the easier route and marry Debin's daughter.

At this point, Kushell's son revealed it was he who sexed up Debin's daughter and taken the jewel. Debin's daughter announced she's not marrying anyone. At this point we cut back to the tired Data humour plot, where he and Guinan are consulting the holocomic again. Er, and we're back to the A plot. Just my luck, a writer with ADD.

Okona talks Debin's daughter back into marrying Kusell's son, and then the parents start arguing over which planet the pair will live on.

Meanwhile, Data tells jokes to the holoaudience, which leads him to discover that the crowd is programmed to laugh whenever he did virtually anything. Disappointed, he shuts the program down, but Guinan tells him humour isn't everything.

The Enterprise sees Okona off, and Data unintentionally tells a joke, which leads him to attempt a couple more much to the discomfort of the rest of the bridge crew. Teh ending.
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