Alden Bates (abates) wrote,
Alden Bates

DS9: Q-Less

Q-Less: Vash and her ex-companion Q turn up on the station, along with periodic mysterious power drains.

Bashir is telling boring medical exam stories to the Bajorian he's on a date with. She's feigning interest really well. Fortunately for her, he and O'Brien are called to an airlock to try to get Dax and a couple of others out of a ship. One of them turns out to be Vash, and Q suddenly pops up in the background.

Bashir gives Vash an "exam" and chats her up a bit. Down, boy! Sisko is confused how she got to the Gamma quadrant if she didn't go through the wormhole, so they decide to do some checking. Vash drops her stuff off in a lockup, and Sisko says the Daystrom Institute is interested in hearing from her about the places she's been in the Gamma quadrant.

O'Brien reports nothing wrong with the runabout they came back in, other than a power drain. On cue, DS9 experiences a momentary power drain.

While Vash is unpacking, Q materialises in her assigned quarters to try to get her to hang around with him some more. After the third time unpacking, she throws her bag at him and tells him to get lost. Quark interrupts their argument, and Q promptly makes him disappear. Oh, if only it were that easy. After Vash hits him, Q returns Quark and disappears. Quark offers to auction the cool shit she's bought back from the Gamma Quadrant, so she masturbates his ears until he reduces his cut of the profits. Then Bashir drops by for a shagto invite her to dinner. Q hassles Vash some more.

Q appears as a waiter and warns Bashir off. Unfortunately for Q, O'Brien spots him and reports to Sisko. There's another power drain, which O'Brien blames on Q. Sisko tracks down Vash and finds her haggling with Quark. As soon as he asks her about Q, the man himself appears and starts making snotty remarks.

Sisko tells Q to piss off. Then Vash tells Q to piss off. Then Sisko invites Q to discuss it ni private, and he promptly makes the rest of the station population disappear, then there's a boxing match and Sisko clouts him.

There's another power loss, and then hull breaches start appearing. Sisko isn't convinced it's Q's fault. Quark says Odo might liks a "latinum-plated bucket" to sleep in. I thought latinum was liquid at room-temperature, hence why it's usually gold-pressed.

Hate to say it, but I'm finding this episode a bit boring.

Dax comes up with a plan to track down the source of the power drains. Q appears to impart more snotty remarks and tell them about Vash's auction. Quark is talking to an alien who appears to have a vagina for a mouth.

Suddenly the station is pulled out of position! They find themselves being dragged towards the wormhole. With 18 minutes to wormhole, they try to track down the source of the power drains.

Q drops by the auction to mention that the station is hurtling towards its certain doom. Everyone seems unconcerned and the auction continues. The alien with the vagina mouth continues to be extremely disturbing.

Dax tracks down the source of the power drains - it's one of the items from the auction. They beam it off the station and it turns into a glowing space stingray and flies into the wormhole.


The station returns to normal. Vash decides to go settle on Earth and work at the Daystrom Institute, though a quick visit from Q and Quark changes her mind. Bashir reappears announcing he feels like he's been asleep for days. Teh end.

Eh, that was mostly dull. I think by the time DS9 appeared, Q had really been explored all he could, and he's actually pretty pointless in this episode other than as a red herring for the power drains. The true source of the drains is extremely obvious, though the fact it's the embryonic form of a glowing space stingray is completely out of left field.
Tags: deep space 9

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