The Enterprise is nipping into the Neutral Zone(tm) where the Yamato is having mysterious malfunctions. The Yamato is handily also a Galaxy Class ship, so they can use existing stock footage. Captain Varley reports that he'd found some mythical planet called Iconia. Then the Yamato blows up and a Romulan ship hoves into view. A decent pre-credits teaser finally! 1000 people had to die to bring us this teaser, so it's just as well.
Picard and the Romulan captain exchange banter, then there's a debate over whether it was the Romulans who destroyed the Yamato. Picard says he'll stick around until they work out why the Yamato exploded. We skip to an hour later where Geordi is explaining how the magnetic seals failed, and suggests that it might have been a design flaw. The Galaxy Class is the most sophisticated object constructed so far.
Picard looks at Varley's personal log (HTF did he get that? They didn't say anything about uploading any data before she ship went blooie!) In his logs, Varley relates the discovery and visit to
Hmm, how many times have they violated the Neutral Zone now? About three? And it's only halfway through season 2! Picard is so going to get spanked when he gets home.
Picard explains a bit about the Iconians to Wesley, who then angsts about the Yamato a bit. Then there's a malfunction with the replicator. Geordi says he's ruled out a design flaw, but needs time to work out what's happening.
They reach Magrathea and find the planet deserted and dead, however it launches a
Geordi explains that the probe which scanned the Yamato had a virus in it, and the virus hopped over from the Yamato before it blew. Right, shut it down, wipe the memory and restore from backup. You do have a backup, don't you? Dude, just reinstall Windows 2400. What do you mean you left the install disk at Star Fleet? Yes, I know it's 40-metres in diameter, but... Oh, never mind.
There are more malfunctions, one of which gives Geordi a bit of a zap. Picard decides to beam down with an away team, although Riker disapproves. After beaming down, the Romulan ship abruptly reappears and there's a moment of drama as the Romulans are about to fire and Wesley can't get the shields up. The Romulans appear to be having malfunctions too, though they're able to destroy a probe sent up from the planet.
Meanwhile, down on Magrathea, Picard, Data and Worf have found a control centre which looks like they borrowed it from an Irwin Allen show. Data works out how to read the text on the controls and ends up activating a magic door, leading Picard to speculate that the Iconians used the doorway to evacuate to other worlds. Then the equipment zaps Data and he falls over.
Data reports that the Iconian software is trying to rewrite his systems. Then they notice that the magic door switches to the Enterprise every 4 minutes, so Picard decides to destroy the whole system and Data says to jam the launch doors then launch all the probes.
Worf takes Data through the magic door back to the Enterprise, where Geordi takes a look and says he's not sure what to do. Then Data "dies" Real good then. Fortunately, he gets better. Geordi realises the solution was a shutdown, and then a memory wipe. I SAID THAT HALF AN HOUR AGO! They shut down and reboot.
Picard triggers the detonation sequence, and ends up on the Romulan ship, where the self-destruct is stuck on. The Enterprise beams him off, and sends the Romulans instructions on purging the virus. Teh end.
That was fun! Though not entirely original.