Alden Bates (abates) wrote,
Alden Bates
abates

TNG: The Royale

The Royale: Do you know what they call a cheeseburger in France? Captain Picard does!

The Enterprise is in an unmapped system (for once) because some Klingons said they found debris in the atmosphere of the 8th planet. Geordi says the atmosphere down there isn't very nice. Meanwhile, Picard is musing the fact that there's no proof for Fermat's Last Theorum. Yeah. Fermat was actually just bluffing when he mentioned he'd worked out a proof. They beam up a bit of the debris and find it has NASA emblazoned across it. Lucky they didn't beam up some other random part, like a toilet seat or something.

Picard points out that no twentieth-century spaceship ventured out this far. Wesley and Geordi locate a structure on the planet which seems to be surrounded by breathable air, so Riker, Data and Worf beam down. You'd think they'd take survival suits, just in case. They locate a revolving door, through which they find a casino-hotel, and promptly lose contact with the Enterprise.

Riker decides to take a look around, as there doesn't appear to be any danger. They're checked in by an odd fellow who's convinced the Hotel Royale is on Earth. Data reports the people in the casino aren't emitting life signs.

Meanwhile, Geordi and Wesley work to break through the interference stopping them from contacting the landing party. Apparently Troi can detect Riker's emotions even from there. Maybe she's just reading his LJ. "Current mood: amused."

Data engages in Blackjack with a Texan, and then Riker announced they're going to get out of the casino. They attempt to leave through the revolving door, but end up back in the casino where they try fruitlessly to ask people if there's another way out. Worf resorts to phaser use, also fruitlessly.

Surely the quickest way out of a casino is to obviously cheat?

Troi reports Riker now feels "trapped". Thanks, Captain Obvious.

The Enterprise is finally able to contact Riker, and he reports that he feels trapped. Data reports he's detected human DNA, and they locate a corpsicle in one of the beds, dead 283 years. There's a copy of Hotel Royale in the dresser, which Data summarises, and they realise that the events in the book are happening in the hotel. They also find Colonel Richey's log, describing how he came to be trapped there.

The away team mingles in the casino, where the book's climax is imminent. Troi and Picard make fun of the dialogue, then Picard tells Riker that the book ends with the hotel being bought out by foreign investors, and a light bulb goes on over Riker's head.

Data and Riker engage in gambling and quickly rack up enough to buy the hotel plus change. Having bought the place, they're able to leave the casino and beam up to the Enterprise. Riker and Picard complain that this episode was full of plot holes. Teh end.

That was silly, but kinda fun. :)

Apparently the advertised DS9 episode isn't on. Since it was just about how much of a wanker Quark is, I'm not too worried...
Tags: next generation
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