Alden Bates (abates) wrote,
Alden Bates

TNG: Up The Long Ladder

Up The Long Ladder: The Enterprise rescues some Irish stereotypes and renders aid to some clones.

Could that title be any more pretentious?

Hmm, Worf appears to be having indigestion. Picard wants to get Riker's opinion on a video game sound effect, which is apparently an ancient Earth distress beacon. They use the computer to try to work out which early 22nd century spaceship it might be. Meanwhile, on the bridge, Worf's indigestion has gotten the better of him, and the poor dear has fainted. This is dramatic enough to lead in to the title sequence.

Pulaski checks over Worf, who's grumpy and embarrassed about having fainted. She determines he has a case of Klingon measles, but covers for him anyway. Presumably Klingon measles is only infectious to other Klingons, or she's endangering the entire crew. Gratefully, Worf does the Klingon tea ceremony with her, although apparently Klingon tea is poison to humans. Since when has he been up on Klingon culture?

Back in the A plot, the Enterprise has reached a system where the sun is sending out solar flares, which are endangering the inhabited planet. Riker beams down, checks out the locals, and they begin beaming people up along with livestock and ambient Celtic music (the latter signaling that they're beaming up people from the Planet of the Irish Stereotypes). Picard is unimpressed, especially when their leader, Danilo O'Dell, offers his daughter's hand in marriage.

More drama and/or comedy occurs when the Oirish folk light a fire to try to cook something. Riker is quite taken by O'Dell's daughter, Brenna (who Worf describes as being like a Klingon woman!). Dude, stop staring. It's creepy. Then O'Dell springs the news that there was another colony. Probably of leprechauns.

They nip over to the other colony (apparently this was only half a light year away), while Riker takes Brenna to his quarters so he can wash her feet.

Worf shows O'Dell how to get alcohol from the replicators. Because Irish stereotypes are notorious drunks. Brenna tells them both off. Evidently she only had a quickie with Riker.

The Enterprise reaches Mariposa, where the people aren't Irish stereotypes and therefore not drunk. Riker, Pulaski and Worf beam down and find the planet is inhabited by clones with 80s hairdos. As it turns out, only 5 colonists survived the initial landing, and turned to cloning to reproduce. The problem is that they've made too many copies, and they need new genetic material. The Enteprise crew are not very enthusiastic about the idea.

After helping fix the cloning equipment a bit, the clones ambush Pulaski and Riker in order to extract genetic material. Later on, Pulaski discovers the missing DNA, and Riker storms over to the cloning lab to destroy the new clones.

There's a debate about what to do to help the Mariposans. Picard has the bright idea to foist the Irish stereotypes on them. After some more debate, everyone agrees. O'Dell is especially enthusiastic when Pulaski suggests that they'll need to swap sexual partners often. The end.

Hey, Snodgrass, visit Ireland sometime! If I hadn't checked, I would have assumed that this story was written by whoever was responsible for the Fair Haven episodes of Voyager. Why is it always the Irish Trek picks on?!

I wonder what Colm Meaney thought of the gross stereotyping of the Irish going on there.
Tags: next generation

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