Alden Bates (abates) wrote,
Alden Bates

TNG: The Ensigns of Command

The Ensigns of Command: The Enterprise must evacuate some people from a planet.

Wait, O'Brien plays an instrument? Data is going to play the violin and suggests to Picard and Crusher that his playing apparently lacks soul, which earns him a chastisement. Then Picard leaves mid-concert which doesn't appear to boost his confidence any.

Apparently there's a message from the Sheliak who claim their are humans on planet Tau Cygna V, which they claim, and want the humans removed before they start settlement. Picard says the conditions on the planet are such that humans can't survive there, so they warp over to investigate.

As it happens, there *are* humans on the planet. Crusher suggests it's possible for humans to "adapt" to high levels of radiation. What?! They send Data down in a shuttle, since the transporters won't work, and no one else will be able to survive down there. Data makes contact and establishes that they're descended from the crew of the colony ship Artimus, which went missing a while back. Unfortunately there are some 15 hundred of them, and it'll take longer to evacuate them all than the Sheliak have allowed. Data explains the situation, but the colonists leader, Gosheven, says they won't be evacuating.

Realising that so far this episode has been one massive chunk of exposition, Picard tells Geordi and O'Brien to get the fecking transporters working, while Worf contacts the Sheliak. They should probably have used a different vocal effect to the one they use for the Borg. Also the Sheliak guy they're contacting appears to be standing in the Fortress of Solitude.

Data talks to one of the colonists, Ard'rian, who's enthusiastic about androids and appears to have a sculpture which looks like a cross between Crow T Robot and one of the robots from The Phantom Menace. She thinks Gosheven isn't listening to him because he's an android.

O'Brien and Geordi make things go melty in the transporter. Riker is unimpressed.

Gosheven reiterates that they're not leaving the planet. Data is unimpressed.

Picard says that the Federation can't get a colony ship out to transport the colonists for another three weeks, and, reasoning that there's already a Sheliak ship on the way, he resolves to intercept it.

So... presumably the Artimus itself isn't spaceworthy?

Data takes a survey of the colonists and finds most of them aren't willing to leave. Riker tells him to get innovative. Ard'rian tells him that Gosheven has called a meeting which he can speak at, and also snogs him, which only serves to make him more confused. She suggests reverse psychology. Data gives a speech about how everyone's doomed and going to die, but it's not enough to sway Gosheven and the colonists. Some of the colonists admit they're not comfortable about sticking around, but don't want to confront Goshie. Gosheven gets tired of Data's interference and zaps him, rendering him inoperative.

The Enterprise intercepts the Sheliak ship and - wait, that's the same fecking Sheliak in the same fecking set! - Picard and Troi pop over and ask for more time. This does not go well and the Sheliak transports them back to the Enterprise in the middle of Picard's rant.

Ard'rian manages to reactivate Data, and he reasons if words won't work, he must let actions speak. He modifies his phaser using one of his own circuits and asks her to tell Gosheven he's going to destroy the pumping station.

Picard blocks the Sheliak ship's course and decides to look at the treaty again for something they can use.

At the pumping station, Data stuns some guards who all fall over in the most ridiculous way ever, and then zaps the pumping station to make his point that they have no chance against the Sheliak. This fortunately is enough to convince the colonists.

Picard announces to the Sheliak that he's requesting third-party arbitration of the dispute and names a race which is currently in their hybernation cycle and will be for the next six months. This finally gets the Sheliak's attention and they agree to allow three weeks to get the colonists off.

As Data prepares to leave, Ard'rian goes all wide-eyed and asks if he has any feelings for her. Data points out as an android he has no feelings of any kind, but gives her a kiss anyway because she looked like she needed it.

Later, Data and Picard ahve a discussion about Data's violin skills. I'm more interested in the fact that O'Brien was playing an instrument. Why has this vital piece of character development never been followed up on??
Tags: next generation

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