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DS9: The House of Quark - abates
Brilliant but slightly odd but very nice

Alden Bates
Date: 2008-01-13 13:23
Subject: DS9: The House of Quark
Security: Public
Tags:deep space 9
The House of Quark: Quark marries a Klingon

Business is bad at Quark's bar, with only a solitary drunk Klingon propping up the books. And Rom says the Klingon is out of money. When Quark brings up the matter of payment, the Klingon attacks him with a knife. In the ensuing struggle, the Klingon falls on his own blade and is made dead. HIJINKS ENSUE!

You know Klingons have jumped the shark when Quark can take one out with his own knife.

While Odo investigates, Quark ponders whether they can put the body on display for gawkers, and spins a colourful story about how he killed the Klingon during a fight. Odo and Bashir look unconvinced.

Meanwhile, Keiko tells Miles that she closed her school because she only had two students left.

Odo lets Quark know that the Klingon he killed was named Kozak, the head of a powerful Klingon house, and suggests he might like to confess what really happened before Kozak's family shows up. Sure enough, later on Quark is confronted by Kozak's brother, D'Ghor. When Quark tries to say it was an accident, D'Ghor points out that that would be dishonourable and he would be required to kill Quark, so Quark falls back to the fake story, and D'Ghor is somewhat less angry.

O'Brien makes dinner for Keiko to cheer her up. Awwwww. Then they do implied sex, and the next morning, O'Brien goes off to work, leaving a glum Keiko at home.

Grilka, Kozak's widow, turns up at the bar and comes at Quark with a knife. He, of course, cowers like a... coward, and she realises he's been lying about Kozak's death. She promptly drugs him and abducts him back to the Klingon homeworld. It's explained that if Kozak *had* died dishonerably, since he has no male heir, the high council might have appointed Grilka head of the house, but since that isn't the case, the house is in danger of falling.

That established, Grilka marries Quark. Things are obviously more desperate for Grilka than is entirely imaginable.

Back on DS9, O'Brien approaches Sisko about converting a cargo bay into an arboretum to give Keiko something to do. Sisko is happy to oblige.

D'Ghor attempts to claim the House of Kozak's assets through the High Council, but then Grilka turns up with Quark and announces that he's the new head of the house. Gowron declares the House of Quark valid while he thinks about it.

Grilka explains to Quark that Kozak ran up a lot of debts, and Quark says he'll go over the house's financial records. Hard to see Klingons keeping meticulous financial records.

O'Brien shows Bashir his arboretum plans, and Bashir thinks it'll last at least two months, and wouldn't address the underlying problem, that Keiko needs a job.

Quark finds that D'Ghor's been manipulating the house's assets in order to try to get hold of them for his own house. He tries to explain it all to the High Council, but they're bored by accounting talk, and D'Ghor demands vengeance. Also, D'Ghor brings in Rom to prove that Kozak died in an accident.

Quark decides to run rather than face D'Ghor. Grilka returns to the High Council, where D'Ghor is ready to fight Quark, and admits she doesn't know where he is. Then Quark turns up with a Bat'leth to fight D'Ghor anyway. As soon as the fight starts, Quark throws down his weapon, pointing out that if D'Ghor kills him, it will be without honour.

Gowron stops D'Ghor from killing Quark, and kicks him out of the fraternity, then grants Grilka dispensation to lead her house without Quark. Quark asks for a divorce, which apparently involves slapping him, yelling and spitting on him.

Meanwhile, O'Brien has organised for Keiko to go on a six month expedition to some mountains on Bajor. Quark and Rom sit in the bar and mope that business is dropping off again, but Rom wants to hear the story of how he beat D'Ghor again.

That was actually a lot better than I was worried it was going to be.
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panther the Dragon: tomato
User: panther3751
Date: 2008-01-13 15:53 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
Keyword:tomato
That was actually a lot better than I was worried it was going to be.

I still got the powerful urge to want to gnaw off my own leg when I first watched that episode, though.
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Alden Bates
User: abates
Date: 2008-01-13 19:34 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
I might have been extra lenient on this one because I happened to notice it was written by Ron "BSG" Moore, but I did think it was OK for a Quark comedy episode. :)
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