Alden Bates (abates) wrote,
Alden Bates

DS9: Looking for par'Mach in All the Wrong Places

Re the newly cast Doctor Who: What? What?! Wot?!

ZeusBlog's reaction

And now, a Ferengi episode.

Looking for par'Mach in All the Wrong Places: Quark's Klingon ex-wife arrives on the station. Worf is jealous.

Quark catches Bashir listening to the O'Briens fighting. Only it's actually O'Brien and Kira fighting. GOSH THAT WAS EXCITING. Also Worf and Dax are arguing over Klingon opera. Some Klingons arrive, and Worf attempts to emotebecomes infatuated when he sees one of them is a woman. He and Dax are surprised when she embraces Quark, and Dax recognises her at last - she's Quark's ex-wife from a previous Ferengi comedy epic which I can't be bothered looking up.

Quark and Grilka chat over drinks. Apparently she wants his accounting services because, as you may recall, Ferengi are good with money. Grilka's bodyguard tells him to help her or die. Meanwhile, Dax fills in Worf on the antics from the last Grilka episode, and she tells Sisko that Worf's got a crush. Having fulfilled his contractual obligations for this episode, Sisko makes a smug comment and sods off.

O'Brien is annoyed that Bashir has heard he and Kira are fighting. Apparently O'Brien also noticed a rash when he was helping Kira out of the bath. This is the cue for Bashir to look amused and start making innuendo.

Entering Quark's bar, Worf throws Morn out of his seat, and then insults Grilka's bodyguard. Ah, Klingon mating rituals. Before slash can ensue, one of Grilka's fellows takes him aside and asks if he's actually had any experience with Klingon women. Apparently not. Also, Worf is an outcast still, so he has to leave Grilka alone.

Worf goes and sulks in his quarters and is comforted by Dax. Quark arrives and asks Dax for help - Grilka has invited him to dinner and he needs to know about Klingon courting. Worf sulks harder. And gives Quark advice which may or may not be correct.

O'Brien is giving Kira a massage. And they start to realise they're perhaps enjoying each other's company a little too much.

Quark interrupts Worf's Klingon opera to admit that he hated the dinner. Considering Ferengi believe women should go without clothing and announce as much often, he's probably lucky he survived it intact. Later on, Dax and Worf attempt to teach him how to fight like a Klingon. And make victory speeches.

Odo observes that Kira is getting more attached to O'Brien, and she says living with the O'Briens, she feels like part of their family. He subtly asks "which part?"

Grilka's Klingon pals are getting annoyed at her consorting with a Ferengi. The romantic pair stagger in after a stint in a holosuite (killing Klingons, not shagging) and she asks why he's pursuing him. Her bodyguard finally gets annoyed enough to upset their drinks, and challenges Quark to a fight to the death.

Unfortunately that would mean no more Ferengi "comedy" episodes, so I'm pretty sure Quark will survive the end of the story.

Keiko is surprised by the way Kira and O'Brien are behaving towards each other. Kira's going to take a couple of days off on Bajor (so she and O'Brien can spend some time apart). Unfortunately this backfires as Keiko insists O'Brien goes with her.

Quark wonders how to survive his impending deathmatch. Dax has an idea - wire Quark up to Worf (wirelessly) so Worf can control his movements. Dax can't work out what Worf sees in Grilka. Quark walks into the arena for the deathmatch challenge, and Worf activates the puppet system thing. Unfortunately, partway through the fight, Worf manages to slice the whatzit around his neck and breaks the system. Quark finds himself up a creek without a paddle.

Quark stalls the fight with a Ferengi custom. Worf checks on the fight. "I do not know how, but he is still alive." Dax manages to repair the device, and Worf swiftly defeats Quark's opponent. Grilka fires her bodyguard, and jumps Quark. Worf grumbles and wonder how she could be so blind, until Dax starts a mating ritual with him. Ah, that Worf.

O'Brien and Kira prepare to set off, and complain about how it's a very romantic location. Fortunately they think of a suitable excuse in time, and Kira leaves alone.

Bashir treats Quark for injuries obtained during his sex with Grilka. And then Worf and Dax arrive, similarly roughed up. Bashir decides he doesn't want to know. Worf and Dax discuss their relationship and decide to take it slowly. The end.
Tags: deep space 9

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